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Teaching our kids that shit happens
As mothers, we might feel the proclivity to protect our kids – it’s an inborn thing and it’s part of the package of being a mom. But keeping the kids safe from harm is not the only thing we may feel inclined to do because we may also feel the urge to protect them from unpleasant information…for instance, death of a friend or family member and unfortunate events that happens in other parts of the world.
I remember the time when a friend of mine who lived in the condominium opposite my house decided to take his own life by leaping off the building. After recovering from the initial shock, I found it extremely difficult to explain the incident to my kids who were privy to the knowledge (but was not there to see the site, of course).
Eventually, after much effort and thought, I felt that the information, the real info, would actually benefit the kids in the end. Slowly, I divulged and shared the information with my kid,s who asked me endlessly about why my friend would do such a thing. And I explained, little but little, about the bad things that was happening to him and how he felt that there was no way out when there were doors opening for him. His fear and refusal to acknowledge those doors led to his actions.
My kids, after digesting all the information, agreed that my friend was a little silly to do such a thing too.
As mothers, we have an important role to play in the way we provide information to our kids. Depending on the child’s age, I think kids should be given the real deal instead of being shielded consistently with 'sugared' information. If the kids are not given the true (or at least something close) account of the bad things that happen around the world, they might grow up thinking that the world is perfect – and when they grow up, they may not be equipped with their own sense of belief that there’s a solution for everything when things go bad for them.
Our role as mothers involves giving our kids magnifying glasses so that they can see the world as it is. It’s their future – the world will eventually be their playground. Stop giving them rose-tinted glasses then because they have the right to know the truth. Tsunamis, land slides, car crashes, suicides…all those bad and difficult to accept consequences of life should be explain as simply as possible.
I am not suggesting that we should go out of our way to feed the bad news to the kids all the time – no, no, no, that’s not what I am saying at all. What I am saying is that, as mothers, we should try to give the real information when they ask for it.
I’ve no explanation, as of yet, on why people murder others or kill animals because these are things that even I cannot find an explanation to. That is why being a mother is so daunting. You don’t have all the information and yet, we have to provide them.
Well, all we mothers can do is to find out as much as we can, give it to them as it is, and provide as simple an answer as possible and then lift them up and tell them that there’s a positive side of everything and even when shit happens, it often happens for a very good reason.ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marsha Maung is an established freelance writer who has mastered the art of writing for the Internet. She is one of the first few Internet freelance writers who delivered original kick-ass copy. At the moment of publication, she's into freelance writing for blogs, articles for search engine marketing, ghost writing books, newsletters and other reading materials. She calls Selangor, Malaysia her home and enjoys playing in the park with her kids, Joshua and Jared. For more information, visit her website at http://www.marshamaung.com and for dirty details on being a mother/writer, visit her blog instead at http://www.marshamaung.blogspot.com